What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
