the condom got lost in my hair
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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