So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
