if only i could text you this smell
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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