No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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