Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
