Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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