They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
