He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
