He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
