piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
