I think I died a long time ago.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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