I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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