So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
