there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize