I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
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