I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
