I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
