apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
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