I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
