Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
