Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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