Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Randomize
