sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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