who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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