it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
