also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
