I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
