Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
