you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
