Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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