Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
