Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
