I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Randomize
