Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
