there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
