Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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