Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
These tits shall not be calmed
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
