I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
