I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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