It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
You're like the curious george of whores
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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