i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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