Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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