honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
