I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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