xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
