I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I just threw up on my dentist
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
