Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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