my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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