Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
