I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize