The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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