OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
