What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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