You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
