Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
She said her name was "party"
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
