Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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