I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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