If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I stole a fireplace last night.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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