I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
