Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
