We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
