1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Randomize
