"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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