We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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