Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
